At first glance, you might suppose this week’s entry is just for the guys. As usual, you would be wrong. True, a portion of this blog is dedicated to helping men more successfully woo the ladies. But ladies, can we not all learn a thing or two about picking up … a friend? Lets get started.
I have provided a list of dos and don’ts of picking up girls, whether you want her to be a friend or more then one.
Do: Buy her flowers and expect her to put them in water to preserve their beauty.
Don’t: Buy her Hamburger Helper and expect her to make you breakfast to trick her into not leaving the house all day because you will want to be near a toilet the rest of the day if you are planning on having Hamburger Helper for breakfast.
Do: Tell her that her she smells nice.
Don’t: Fart and tell her to smell it.
Do: Shower and wear nice clothes before you go out on the town with her.
Don’t: Tell her not to shower and not to wear nice clothes when you take her to your friends house so that they won’t want to flirt with her because she will look and smell awful.
Do: Remember her birthday.
Don’t: Forget her birthday.
Do: Compliment her on some achievement she has accomplished such as a poem she wrote, or a fashion show she once judged.
Don’t: Bring up that time she was playing basketball in high school and lost a game 13 to 1.
Do: Tell her she looks beautiful, like Audrey Hepburn.
Don’t: Tell her she looks like Snooki. Ever.
Do: Buy her a drink.
Don’t: Buy her mouthwash.
Do: Take her to see a Snow Patrol concert.
Don’t: Take her to a Bloodhound Gang concert.
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